


Elsewhere University

by bitogoth



Category: Elsewhere University (Webcomic)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-09-27 17:16:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10035872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitogoth/pseuds/bitogoth
Summary: Bryn, I mean "Irony", begins her freshman year at EU and starts to adapt to the campus culture.





	1. Moving In

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Coexisting With The Fair Folk Who Have Taken Up Residence In/Around/Beneath Your University: A How-To Guide](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/269438) by CharminglyAntiquated. 



> Part of the exciting fantasy collaboration started by CharminglyAntiquated's webcomic at http://charminglyantiquated.tumblr.com/post/157198258378/coexisting-with-the-fair-folk-who-have-taken-up and can be followed at https://elsewhereuniversity.tumblr.com/

Bryn blinked at the card in her hand and looked doubtfully at the door in front of her. It was the same number, sure enough, and peering up and down the hallway crowded with excited freshmen moving into their rooms everything looked normal enough. Except for her door. Unlike the standard prefab doors on either side, hers was a heavy wooden door with black metal hinges and handle. It looked like something out of a medieval castle.

“Oooh- lucky! You got the old RA room!” Bryn blinked slowly and turned to the peppy girl leaning over her shoulder. “They moved all the RAs into suites- ours are right across the hall.” Bryn glanced over her shoulder and winced at the door wrapped in bright pink paper and covered with silver glitter and… feathers?

“I wish I had a door with iron in it,” the girl sighed wistfully. “So, what name did you choose? I’m Marva!” She pointed excitedly to her name badge. Bryn felt like she was moving underwater, everything slow and a little unreal, and was still hung up on the door. She wanted to ask “Why iron?’ but all that made it our was “…iron?”

Marva frowned. “That’s probably not a very good name for around here.” She glanced up and down the hallway and gave Bryn a nervous smile. “How about, uh, Irony! That’s a bit better right?!” There was something fragile and a little desperate about her grin, so Bryn just nodded.

“Sure, Irony. Why not?” It was somehow fitting. She shouldered her way in the door, not missing the sigh of relief from Marva who eagerly followed her in. Was this what living in a dorm was going to be like all the time?

“You’re so lucky! You won’t have to share your room- it can be tough keeping good roommates around here…” Marva trailed off as she poked around the mostly empty room. It was a bit smaller than the other dorm rooms, but with only one bed and desk it felt a lot larger. Irony felt some tension melt out of her shoulders- she’d hoped for a single room but knew that they were almost never assigned to freshmen… she’d gotten lucky. 

Marva kept chattering as Irony dropped her stack of boxes on the desk with a “Oof!” and dusted off her hands. This shouldn’t be bad at all.

“Don’t forget your moving-in gift basket!” Marva crowed, and Irony stared at the small basket with a “Welcome to Billingsley Hall!” tag on it. Inside were the usual little gifts and trinkets, along with some odd items, most noticeably a container of Morton’s salt and instructions for lining the door and window-sills to “keep pests out”. It didn’t say what kind of pests, but considering how old the building was she wasn’t really surprised. She wondered about ants for a moment- she knew they were attracted to sugar. Would salt keep them away? Maybe it was slugs, she knew salt was bad for them…

Marva drifted out the door, still chattering and Irony gratefully shut it behind her and let out a sigh. Slumped against the door it was surprisingly quiet in her room, another thing to be grateful for. She took a deep breath to head back out into the hallway to find her suitcases… maybe Elsewhere University wouldn’t be so bad, after all.


	2. Campus Culture

Irony flopped on her bed and let out a groaning sigh. Moving in had been more work than she expected, although in retrospect bringing half of her books wasn't such a great idea. She'd set up her little folding bookshelf which was already overflowing, and she hadn't even picked up her books for the semester yet.

Flipping through the "Getting to Know the Campus" pamphlet from her welcome basket (it wasn't a pamphlet, really- it was almost as thick as some of her paperbacks...), Irony worked to identify the rest of the basket's contents. There were creamers and butter packs to leave outside her door at night. The pamphlet talked about campus traditions, but Irony had the feeling someone had read the Harry Potter books a few too many times. House elves would be nice, but since she had to do her own laundry they clearly weren't that lucky. Poking her head out into the hallway a few rooms had theirs out already, but right across the hall the RA's room had a huge pile. Irony shrugged a shoulder and then dropped her butter and creamers outside her door. It couldn't hurt, but maybe this was why they had pest problems to begin with.

One of the RAs was working her way down the hall, stopping to chat at each door. Her name tag said "Periwinkle" and she smiled brightly at Irony. "Don't forget to salt your doorway and window!" Irony nodded and quickly retreated. Being around so many extroverts was going to be exhausting. After a moment's thought she grabbed the salt container and carefully drew a line from one edge of the doorframe to the other and the same at the window. After a glance around the room she also surrounded the heat vent set in the floor, just to be on the safe side.

Climbing back into bed, she flipped through the booklet, reading the usual warnings about not walking around alone at night, being polite as part of the campus culture, and a surprisingly long section on community expectations and how not to say "please" or "thank you". Irony stuttered to a stop over that one... she vaguely remembered something during orientation, but considering how thick this section was it was obviously important. She had the general feeling it was because they had so many cultures here. Cultural sensitivity was something Irony was all for- it would take a little getting used to, but it wouldn't be hard.

The rest of the book was the same- reasonable reminders along with odd cultural items. Be careful of animals on campus- EU was partially wooded so skunks and raccoons, along with feral cats and crows were really common. It was best not to feed them and do NOT bring them into the dorm. Irony sighed wistfully, she already missed her cats, but she'd be going home to visit in two weeks so it wouldn't be too bad. The book also mentioned being careful about accepting gifts from the animals. Irony churned over that until she decided the crows probably stole, and sometimes gave, shiny things like the magpies back home... that she understood. 

There were considerably more warnings about going into the woods at any time of day, and never alone. She started to wonder if maybe they shouldn't just thin out the woods altogether if it was that much of a problem, although there was a lot of language about "conservation" and "legacy woodland", too. She kind of liked that, really- the wooded campus had been one of the things that attracted her on the initial tour. That and the Library, which looked a lot like the door to her room- old and solid and somehow comforting. God, she was such a lit major it was ridiculous. EU had a reputation for putting out famous authors- especially creative writers in fantasy and sci-fi, but Irony was more interested in what other people wrote; Edmund Spencer and the Arthurian legends were more her cup of tea, with a minor in linguistics.

The basket had a few more surprises: a cheap charm bracelet, salt packets to keep in your jacket packets (really?) and a map of where on campus to get more salt packets and creamers as needed. She had ventured out to the dorm cafeteria earlier and was impressed by the huge salad bar- another really nice feature she approved of. The basket also had a small baggie with hard candies to carry with you "just in case!". In case of what? Bad breath? Irony shrugged and tossed the sweets into her backpack. They couldn't hurt and she liked sour apple Jolly Ranchers, so that was cool, too.

Irony laid on her side and sighed. College was going to be tough. She hoped to make friends in her literature classes, but if she got out just with her degree she'd be happy. It was hard to tell if EU was weirder than other colleges- she really didn't have anything to compare it to. It could just be that everything was new and strange. Her eyes started to drift shut as she reminded herself to pick up her books the next day and visit the Library. The hallways had quieted down- everyone seemed to shut their doors at 10 pm, which was a nice surprise, but as irony drifted off she thought she heard a soft scrabbling at the door.


	3. The Library

Irony suppressed a groan- it had been an aggravating morning and this wasn't helping any. She waited patiently while the two students behind the desk had a hissed argument. "Hue" and "Olivander" (she knew it, another Potterite) bickered back and forth:

"I KNOW we're not supposed to hire freshman, but we're down three people since Aqua "Left"..." Irony tipped her head to the side, the quotes around "Left" were almost visible. Hue glanced over her shoulder and turned her back on Irony more solidly, jabbing a finger at the dark-haired boy.

He threw his hands in the air and sniped back, less concerned about being overheard, "...and if she doesn't last the week we'll have to find someone all over again!"

Irony tuned them out and looked around the vaulted ceilings and racks of books. EU had a thoroughly modern Library, full of study rooms and computer labs and a decent coffee shop if you could afford the prices. All that was located in a newer addition. This part of The Library was the original building containing the book stacks and was rumored to be the first structure built on campus. It almost looked like an old church, although the campus tour guide had been emphatic that it was NOT and to never treat it as such.

Irony's stomach growled. It was past lunch and she hadn't eaten since the breakfast burrito she'd smuggled out of the cafeteria to get a jump on the bookstore line. It was a smart choice, but she still spent more hours standing on line than she liked (and paid way more for books than she liked. She had a scholarship that covered part of her classes, but books were still out of pocket and as a literature major she had a LOT of them). On her way out of the dorm she'd noticed that most of the butter and creamers were gone from the hallway. One girl was griping that rats had gotten into her room and the RA was telling her she should have left out the creamers and laid down the salt like she was told, so Irony had refilled her pockets at the cafeteria.

That was hours ago now, however, and butter packets don't make a good lunch. She'd seen a sign that The Library (meaning the older part of the Library, it didn't seem to have a name- everyone just called it The Library) was hiring upperclassmen and Irony had decided to try applying anyway. It would be a perfect job for her since she'd been here all the time anyway, and especially since she'd volunteered at the town library where her mom worked.

The muttered argument suddenly ground to a halt and Irony turned to see that a Librarian had appeared. She looked a bit like the Librarian ghost from the first Ghostbusters movie, only not so- dead. And she tall. Very, very tall. With a sniff she glowered over the top of her glasses at the two students, and demanded "What is the problem now?!"

Hue elbowed Olivander out of the way and spoke up first, "We have a applicant for the stack assistant position but she's a freshman..." The Librarian turned to Irony who suddenly felt very young and very small and not so sure that she wanted to job after all.

The Librarian sniffed. "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Irony jumped a little- it was a little too much like the Librarian had read her mind. She suddenly realized what was happening here:

"Hamlet: Act 2, Scene 2."

The Librarian lifted an eyebrow, her gaze drifting over the other two students, both of whom looked like they were holding their breath. Her attention turned back to Irony; "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."

Irony chewed her lip a moment before blurting out "All's Well that Ends Well: Act 1, Scene 1."

The Librarian gave a soft "hmm" and Irony tried to resist shifting her weight back and forth. This was really not what she had expected a job interview to be like.

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

Irony almost let out a sigh of relief, that was an easy one. "Julius Caesar: Act 1, Scene 3."

The Librarian skewered Irony with her eyes for a moment longer before turning back to the stack of books in her arms, clearly dismissing them all. "She'll do. Put her on the schedule and give her the tour."

Olivander gulped out a "But...!" The Librarian slowly turned and looked at him. Irony watched as he actually shrank under the Librarian's gaze and muttered, "Nothing, nothing! Not important." The Librarian strode off deeper into the stacks, and all three students gave a sigh of relief. Olivander ("Call me Oli") headed for the new addition muttering something about needing coffee to soothe his nerves. Hue grinned at Irony, "Nice job! You'll do fine here. Let me show you around."

***  
Hue obviously LOVED working in the Library.

Irony straggled along behind, constantly distracted by the vaulted ceilings and musty-smelling books. In between rows of stacks were old-fashioned reading tables with green lampshades. Hue kept her voice low, "The slightest sound echoes in here, so you definitely want to keep it down and remind students, too. If they need a group study room they can go to the new wing."

The computer for looking up call numbers was at the front desk and Irony mastered it immediately. Most of the journals and articles were all online, although there were older periodicals in back of the stacks. All the copy machines were in the new addition- older books had to be copied by the Library staff to preserve them. Hue pointed out cubbies and old chairs tucked under windows where books tended to pile up and where the light switches were, "...but always carry a flashlight with you just in case. The wiring in this building is ancient and sometimes the lights flicker." She laughed nervously and gave Irony a slightly brittle grin. "Cel phones don't work well here- the thick stone I think..." she trailed off absently. "Anyway, all the charging stations are in the new addition."

Toward the back were several locked rooms. "This one is the Rare Books collection. Only a Librarian can unlock this door. If someone needs to request a rare book they need to fill out a slip at the front desk and ring the bell for the Librarian. ONLY Librarians can go in this room. We don't go in here, EVER." Hue stared at Irony intensely until she gave a short nod, and then Hue was back to babbling away cheerfully. She pointed out the restrooms (in the new wing) and contemporary texts (new wing) and conservation room for restoring damaged books (The Library). In fact, anything less than maybe 50 years old seemed to be in the new wing.

"EU documents are kept here, too..." Hue trailed off for a moment.

"Let me guess, only Librarians have access, right?"

Hue gave a relieved sigh, "You catch on fast!"

Back at the front desk they hammered out a 20-hour work week schedule. It wasn't much money, but Irony couldn't have picked a better job that fit with her studies and schedule. Hue gave a few last words of advice,"Keep salt in your pocket. Once the lights are out don't go into the stacks, even if you think you hear someone calling." She paused, "ESPECIALLY if you think you hear someone calling. Be Courteous and Respectful- if you take care of the books they will take care of you." Irony nodded slowly, it was almost like the rules her mom had recited the summer she helped out at the public library. Except the salt thing. She idly fingered the salt packets in her pocket and thought "Check".

Oli was back at the front desk and gave her a once-over. "There's three or four other students who work here- you'll meet them if your shifts overlap. We're shorthanded at the moment, " Hue gave him a warning glare and he seemed to skip something he meant to say. "If you run into Tavis, he doesn't work here, he's just here all the time. It's best to just leave him alone. If he's here at the end of the day it's okay to turn out the lights on him, he doesn't mind." Irony mulled that over a moment, but no more information seemed to be forthcoming and she decided not to ask. Oli looked surprised for a moment but then gave a short nod of his own. "You'll do fine."

Irony was halfway out the door when Hue suddenly called, "And get a wristwatch! There's no clocks in here so it's easy to lose track of time!" Irony nodded, only to stare in surprise at the late afternoon sun. What time was it anyway? Her stomach gave a loud growl- an early dinner seemed to be in order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There have been some "canon" posts in the EU community about The Library so I'm archiving them here. I obviously am flexing the second one a bit, with possibly more explanation later. ;D
> 
> Anon said: What’s the librarian like? Have they seen the most weird stuff or are they completely oblivious to it all?
> 
> The Librarians aren’t Gentry, but they aren’t human (anymore?) either. As far as anyone can tell they don’t really exist beyond the limits of the Library. They’re more or less entirely neutral forces, so long as you’re quiet and don’t hurt the books. They don’t engage in the favortrade. They’re not quite people at all, really; they’re something less, or something more. Or just Other, perhaps. If you ask them politely they will tell you exactly how much time one hour in the Deep Library costs you in the real world, depending on how far you’ve gone. This is tremendously useful if you don’t want to guess wrong and miss a week of realtime.
> 
> Anon said: Whats weird about knowing the librarians by name 
> 
> For starters, they don’t seem to have them.


	4. Learning the Ley of the Land

The next two weeks passed in a blur of new classes and settling into her work schedule. Irony started jotting notes in the back of her pamphlet, carrying it with her in case she needed to remember things. The Library was... interesting. The new wing was bright and comfortable and airy. The librarians all had names like Jade and Willow and Pad. They tended to be younger and could reference the MLA style guide off the top of their heads and were good with computers. The old wing, well...

The Librarian Irony saw most often was Mrs. Stonemeyer. It sounded like a Real Name to Irony, but then again she couldn't image Mrs. Stonemeyer being called anything else. No one knew if she had a first name- there was never even an initial, and she shut down even the bravest frosh with a cool glare and a sniff. Mrs. Stonemeyer didn't need to use computers- she knew where everything was off the top of her head. It was impressive and kind of scary.

Mr. Leeds wore brown tweed and puttered around in the stacks, checking on the condition of the books and repairing them as needed. You could call him "Ava" if Mrs. Stonemeyer was nowhere around. He seemed vague but happy, humming softly to himself and he trailed fingers over the spines of his beloved books, but heaven help the careless student who was caught turning down a page corner or jotting notes in margins (even with a pencil).

The Rare Book Librarian was Mr. Jons (pronounced "yawns" which somehow seemed appropriate) and Irony only had one brief glance of him. He mostly skulked in the back of the stacks, rarely venturing out only to collect brown paper-wrapped parcels and have low conversations with Mrs. Stonemeyer. Mr. Leeds didn't seem too fond of him and tended to roll his eyes if asked, shake his head and 'tut' under his breath before wandering off.

It took a full week for Irony to notice the third door.

Gem was helping re-shelve books that day when Irony pointed it out. His eyes widened and quickly glanced around before whispering in her ear, "That's the Head Librarian's office." Irony barely managed to whisper back a "Who...?" when Gem slapped his hand over her mouth and pulled her further away from the door. 

"Don't know. Don't ask. DON'T TOUCH THE DOOR." He nodded solemnly and Irony slowly nodded in return, updating her notebook later. It wasn't the weirdest thing about EU, that's for sure.

Her notebook was slowly filling up with rumors and tall tales. Like the mystery vending machine. Every once in a while, always in a different place, there was a vending machine that would appear that didn't have soda or snacks or school supplies like the normal ones everywhere else on campus. (Personally, Irony's favorite was the one that carried ice cream by the student quad- who needed a magic vending machine when you already had that?) But this machine apparently dispensed... other things. A guaranteed "A". Magic items. Dreams. But it didn't take coins, and the stories never seemed to end happily for the student lucky (or unlucky) enough to find it.

A girl on her dorm floor went missing the second week of classes. She'd gone to one of the Greek mixers and just never came back. The school was investigating, but they were surprisingly quiet about it. One of the RAs had reassured Irony, "She'll show up in a week or two or we'll go bring her back in time for finals, no worries". Irony wasn't particularly comforted- it seemed a pretty lackadaisical attitude for a university to take about a missing student, but sure enough three days later she showed back up, completely unaware that she'd been gone for more than a night and talking about what a great party it had been.

Honestly, most of the weirdness rolled off Irony's back. She kept to herself outside of classes and focused on her schedule, although Marva introduced her around and would snag her whenever they ate meals at the same time. It was kind of... nice, really. And Marva always had the best gossip and stories. If the whole year went like that Irony would have been fine, but it didn't quite work out that way.


	5. Around the Corner

Irony sighed and flopped on to her bed- her weekend visiting at home hadn't gone the way she expected. Her parents were eager and supportive, but being back home had been strange. Half the time they acted like she hadn't been gone at all, the rest they kept saying things like "you're so grown-up" and "we're so proud of you". It wasn't bad- it was mostly nice, but she took the first opportunity to slip away to her room with the cats. They rubbed all over her with their faces, making her giggle. She'd really missed them, but her room felt weird somehow- too small. She laid awake for hours, listening to her dad watching tv and her brother talking too loud on the phone. It was almost a relief to leave Sunday for her quiet dorm room. She wasn't scheduled to see her family again until her brother's birthday next month. She threw her bag over her shoulder and headed for The Library.

Even though she wasn't scheduled to work, the stack assistants gave her a cheerful wave when she came in. The Library was fairly empty, so Irony tucked herself in a corner to finish her maths homework (thankfully, her only maths course was almost the same as she'd had the last year of school, and it was the only maths she was required to take). 

It was different being in the Library when she wasn't working. For one thing, staying still you heard more sounds: the creak of a door, a whisper of wind finding its way through a cracked window, the soft patter of feet along the upstairs balcony. Irony had found a decent wristwatch at the local thrift shop- it was the old fashioned kind that you had to wind but Irony loved it. She had stopped bothering to even bring her phone to The Library (it never got reception here,m anyway), and had a little flashlight clipped to her keyring now. She'd thought about carrying a little lighter, but an open flame in The Library seemed like a terrible idea and she had the feeling Mrs. Stonemeyer wouldn't approve (or Mr. Leeds).

Irony was just wrapping up her homework when she realized that she hadn't heard anyone come back down the twisted iron staircase from the balcony. Oli was doing the rounds, letting students know they would be closing soon. (The old part of The Library closed a lot earlier than the new wing, usually as soon as it started to get dark, while the new part stayed open until 11). Stuffing her papers into her messenger bag she let him know, "I thought I heard someone go upstairs but they haven't come back down."

Oli groaned and rolled his eyes, "Great, not again," and slouched up the stairs, Irony following behind. They did a quick round of the balcony that overhung the lower level on three sides, but all the window nooks were empty. Oli sighed, "I'll let Mrs. Stonemeyer know- it's way too early for midterms, what were they thinking?"

"Look!" Irony pointed at a navy jacket that had slipped to floor in the far left corner where there was a desk but little light. Oli bit his lower lip.

"Just leave it- they'll be back for it. Probably." 

"Are you sure? I could-" but he didn't let Irony finish.

"You see that corner? That's One of Those Things. It's better to stay out- we'll let The Librarians handle it." Irony hovered for a moment, then shrugged. If he was going to be that way, fine. Out on the steps in front of The Library Irony added a note to her pamphlet and rubbed her eyes. It was easy to forget how weird EU was when she was off-campus, it faded so quickly to just funny stories. But now she was back and needed to put out cream and redo her salt lines and sew the rowan buttons onto her bag that were recommended to help avoid losing books. She was going to need a larger booklet.


	6. The Agreement

It was a simple mistake- if Irony had looked up a moment sooner she wouldn’t be in this predicament. But it was too late for that, so she cleared her throat and kept reading aloud.

She had been perched on one of the benches reading from her lit book. She had been careful, choosing a bench in full sunlight and not too close to the woods behind her, but apparently it wasn’t far enough. Her lit book was a thick paperback with pages so thin you could almost see through them. It saved carrying around several books, but the print was tiny and she was squinting with her nose almost to the page when a voice piped up over her shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“Reading this short story for my lit class.”

“You have Stories?”

A crawling sensation crept up Irony’s back as she slowly turned her head to look at the… being, next to her. It had too many eyes, and how could something have too few teeth? It was squinting at the book with a frown, almost a pout, and she realized it probably couldn’t read. She carefully cleared her throat.

“Yes, this book is full of stories.” 

The… creature’s, face lit up. “Tell me one!”

Irony swallowed, her mind paging frantically through what she remembered from her Welcome Pamphlet. Just saying no was dangerous- saying yes could be worse. “What will you give me in return?”

Apparently it was the right response because the… person, began rifling through its pockets, depositing a wide array of oddments on the bench between them. There were hard candies (so that’s what those are for), bits of feather and bone, several sparkly things, an owl pellet, and other things she tried not to look at too closely. It made a pleased sound and held out a small ring with a cloudy opal. “I will give you this for one… no, THREE stories!”

Irony frowned, that was changing the agreement. “Does it have any properties?”

The creature sniffed, “No, it’s just a bauble, but worth more than one Story!”

Irony slowly nodded. “I agree to read you three short stories from this book in exchange for this ring.”

It wriggled in pleasure and half-draped itself over the bench (and partially over Irony’s lap). She was glad she didn’t have another class for a couple hours. She was about to begin when another voice piped up.

“What are you doing, Glmdrng!” it demanded. Irony shook her head- something about the creature’s name was strange, or Strange.

“Go away, Mayfly! This is MY Story!” The two started bickering, while Irony looked at the second being from the corner of her eye. She looked much more human, except her skin looked like she’d been swimming in paint, coiling over her skin in loops and whirls. When the colors kept moving even when Mayfly was sitting still Irony resolutely looked away.

Eventually the two came to some agreement of their own, and Mayfly perched on the corner of the bench Glmdrng wasn’t occupying. Irony turned back to the start of the story and began reading out loud. Thankfully, it wasn’t very long and she was already familiar with the story, so she easily fell back into the cadence she used when doing Children’s Story Time at the library at home.

She finished the first story and Glmdrng frowned. “I don’t understand…”

Mayfly hit… him? on the shoulder and explained, “The child made an Agreement! It was a stupid one, though, and the child died.”

Glmdrng slowly smiled and Irony shuddered and looked away. “I see! That was a very good Story! Now the next!”

Irony was almost halfway through when she realized that there was Something under the bench. Both Glmdrng and Mayfly tried to shoo it away but eventually gave up. They didn’t negotiate with It for the stories, so Irony decided to pretend it wasn’t there, despite how cold her ankles were. She really, REALLY didn’t want to look under the bench. A crow also fluttered to the ground nearby and seemed to be listening, but the fey on the bench resolutely ignored it.

The second and third stories passed easily enough, although Glmdrng declared the first one was The Best. It negligently dropped the ring in Irony’s hand and said, “The compact is fulfilled.” Irony nodded and breathed a sigh of relief as they wandered off, engrossed in a new argument. Whatever had been under the bench was gone and Irony looked at the crow, feeling dazed. 

She fished a few cashews out of the bag in her pocket, eating a couple and scattering the rest on the ground. “Freely given.” The crow seemed to bob in her direction before it eagerly gobbled them up and then took off back to the forest. Irony shoved her book back in her bag and practically ran back to her dorm, not stopping until her iron-banded door was closed with her inside. 

She had been lucky- very, very lucky and she knew it. This wasn’t like the Head Librarian’s door or the reading nook on the second floor- things she could avoid. They’d found her, right in broad daylight in the middle of campus. They’d Noticed her, and Irony knew that was a huge risk. Suddenly EU wasn’t nearly as harmless and she’d thought.


	7. Over

After getting second opinions from Marva, the RAs, and The Library assistants, Irony wore the opal ring on a chain under her shirt. The more-or-less general agreement was that getting rid of it might be insulting, but flaunting it could attract the wrong sort of attention. She did find herself playing with it at times as she read- it was a pretty stone, even if there was nothing special about it. (However, she was careful to never look through the ring itself- just in case).

Like most students, Irony did her shopping in Over. “Over” was anything outside the boundaries of the EU campus: either Over the river or Over the train tracks. Students who could afford to lived Over, commuting to classes and escaping before dark. The town surrounding EU had the usual selection of fast food restaurants, bars, thrift shops and used book stores. It also had an unusual number of crystal shops, palm readers, and psychological services. If you were heading into town, you were "Going Over". ("Going Under" had a very different meaning.)

Over is also where the new stadium is. Digging through the archives, Irony discovered that EU used to have a rival school. Used to. About 12 years before, one aspiring poet had started a new chant; "Pee-yew it's EU!" That lasted until the first home game on EU soil. Apparently, the evening game was called partway through and the visiting team hustled off to the guest dorms by a crowd of RAs and volunteers. The buses to pick them up arrived early in the morning, but the visitor dorm was empty except for one wild-eyed assistant coach clutching a St. Christopher's medal and an iron nail. Non-official reports mentioned strange lights and howling sounds, both at the game and in the guest dorm. Eventually, the building was torn down and the new Coriander Hall dorm stands there now. EU started the fundraiser for the new stadium that semester, and visiting teams stay at hotels rather than on campus. The old stadium is still used by EU teams for practice, but it's not wise to go there at night.

Since The Incident (as Irony now thought of it) she’d decided to upgrade her defenses. One enterprising EU student had a thriving Etsy shop where she sold hand-made book covers and bags. They sported iron clasps and salt packets sewn into the linings along with other features. The prices weren’t bad (although there was no way Irony could afford to get covers for all her books, so she went the bag route). She did get one book cover, however, for the blank book that she was transcribing her pamphlet notes into. If she wanted to survive until the end of the semester (much less four years), Irony felt the more protection the better.

It seemed to work, and the next two weeks passed quietly enough. Irony was able to fall back into her routine and focus on her classes. Her brother's birthday came and went, and while she was happy to see her family and cats, the weirdness was even worse than last time. Her parents kept asking if she got enough sleep- she seemed twitchy, and her mom was baffled by the salt packets in her pockets when she went to do laundry. She overheard a murmured conversation wondering about the ring and speculating on a girlfriend or possibly an eating disorder since she was hoarding food (she threw out the creamers she'd been saving to bring back to campus and wondered what kind of eating disorder they thought she might have.) She wasn't due to visit again until Thanksgiving and she felt relieved (and then guilty), adding notes on "what not to do when you go home" to her notebook.

The weather was turning cooler and the leaves were starting to change on campus. Irony appreciated the woods from a distance, snuggled in a scarf knitted by her Nan. Nan seemed to understand something her parents didn't, and it was good to see her at Joey's birthday. She gave Joe a video game and Irony a delicate iron ring (with a wink and a nod) that she said was a family heirloom. Things were almost normal. Almost.


	8. October

It was only the second week of October and Irony was already 100% done. First, she had finally met the elusive Tavis.

“You’re not paying attention.”

Irony muffled what she’d deny to her dying day was a shriek and fumbled the stack of books, just barely holding on to all but one. The boy… man? Reached out and negligently caught it, lightly placing it on top of her stack. “Jumpy, aren’t you?”

Irony gave him her best Death Glare and huffed, “I’m accustomed to hearing noise when someone approaches me.”

“Well, where’s the fun in that?” He leaned his shoulders against the bookcase and discreetly pointed across the room at a student drifting aimlessly between the stacks, looking more bewildered and lost than usual.

She took in the student’s tweed jacket and, jodhpurs? Irony had been warned about people wandering out of the stacks, but this was the first time she’d seen it for herself. She hurriedly crammed the books onto the shelf to be retrieved later. With a polite nod to the man she now realized must be Tavis (according to the other assistants, spooking people in the stacks was one of his favorite games, although he could be surprisingly helpful if the mood took him), she said “I’ll take care of him.”

He gave a lazy wave that suggested dismissal. “Of course you will. It’s your job.” Irony tried not to roll her eyes too obviously as he strolled back into the stacks. From the corner of her eye it looked like he’d walked right through the middle of a bookshelf, but she didn’t have time for that right now.

The lost student was William (Irony flinched, that sounded too much like a Real Name for EU), and he seemed mildly scandalized by her jeans. Mrs. Stonemeyer took him in hand and one of the psychological services advisors arrived to start him on reorientation. Irony was jumpy the rest of her shift, but Tavis didn’t make another appearance and no one else appeared from the stacks.

The rest of the day was off- she was running late for her class, spilt her lunch on her lap, broke a shoelace, and almost said “Bless you” when someone sneezed (that could be a serious faux pas- offering blessings that you can’t give was a warning in the orientation pamphlet). It didn’t seem to be deliberate- just a bad day, but she was running ragged even before she settled down to her midterm papers. It was nearly midnight when she realized she hadn’t put out any creamers.

With a soft groan and “thunk” of her forehead on the wood desk, Irony fished some creamers and butter out of her mini fridge. On second thought, she grabbed a few of the honey butters she’d traded someone- a little extra couldn’t hurt after her day. She opened her door, only to stop short when she realized someone was picking through the RA offerings across the hall.

The creature was wearing a dark blue cloak that seemed to pool around its feet in shadows. Irony realized that half the lights were out and the hallway was freezing cold. She was about to step back into her room when the figure straightened up. Even though she could have sworn it hadn’t turned around, the opening of the hood faced her. She desperately looked anywhere other than that opening, she did NOT want to See.

It drifted closer and Irony barely kept from cringing back. It appeared to be focused on what was in her hand. Silently, she held out the honey butters and tried not to flinch as black mist coiled around the packets which promptly vanished. Suddenly Irony could breathe a little freer, but the creature was still staring at her (or at least she assumed, the opening of the hood was still turned toward her). Another coil of icy darkness reached out and gently touched her wrist.

“My bracelet?” Irony gulped. She had a friendship bracelet around her wrist. It was one of those things she’d learned in Girl Scouts and had been moderately popular for in grade school when that sort of thing was the trend. She still would sit down and make a bracelet when she wanted to do something crafty or just needed to zone out for a bit. This one was simple- a thin band of four colors repeating in a slant. The hood was definitely lowered over her wrist.

“You- you can have it if you want. Fr-freely given.” Irony’s teeth were chattering as she wriggled it off her wrist and held it out. The thing seemed taken aback for a moment and Irony briefly wondered if she’d offended it since it didn’t actually seem to have wrists, or even appendages of any kind. However, the black mist stretched out again and the bracelet disappeared. The figured drifted slightly back and seemed to give a faint bob before it turned away.

Irony backed into her room and carefully closed the door, locking it as quietly as possible. She crawled under the covers, pulling every blanket over her head as the shivering slowly wore off. She’d never be late putting out creamers again. 

***

Irony decided to skip her classes the next day and called out of work- her system could only stand so many shocks. She texted Marva who brought her some chicken soup and crackers. While she ate, Marva chattered idly but for once Irony didn't mind- she didn't particularly want to be by herself just yet.

"By the way, what's that stone?"

Irony frowned, "What stone?"

"The one outside your door?"

Irony peered out the door- a smooth, milky-white stone sat where she usually left her offerings. She picked it up and looked at Marva doubtfully. "I think it's a trade, maybe?" The stone seemed to shimmer in the sunlight, but other than that appeared to be absolutely ordinary. For the first time, Irony seriously considered transferring when she finished this semester.


	9. Miscellany

After that, things just got... weird.

Irony was in The Library sub-basement returning some periodicals to long-term storage when she somehow got lost. She found herself shuffling down a long hallway with no turns. She KNEW the periodicals were at the end of this aisle, just as she KNEW the hallway wasn't this long. She kept walking slower and slower, determined to turn around and go back but not quite able to when she heard sounds and saw electric light in front of her. She picked up her pace and looked around the corner... only find herself in the kitchen of the Denny's. When she turned around she was standing in front of a blank wall.

The kitchen staff were nice about it, at least, offering her a cookie ("Freely given") and showing her out the side door, but she decided not to eat it just to be on the safe side. Staring across the parking lot and the hill of campus itself she groaned- it was a mile between the Denny's and The Library and she'd lost at least an hour since it was now after dark. Muttering under her breath about in-between places that should leave her alone Irony broke into a steady trot and hoped someone in the new wing could help her get her bag.

***

There was also the Girl in the Laundry Room. 

She was always there, slouched on the floor against a wall dryer that was always running. She had lilac hair and sketched in a sketchbook constantly. She never looked up or talked to anyone, and everyone moved carefully around her. But once in a while, someone would approach her, crouch down and whisper something. It was said that to anyone watching it looked like she didn't look up or reply, but whoever Asked received an Answer, whether it was what they hoped to hear or not.

Irony gave her wide berth normally, and this time it was easier than usual since the laundry room was empty except for the two of them. She had just finished loading a washer, checking her pockets as she went along to make sure they were empty. Her cords had the white stone in the pocket, and she briefly placed it on the next washer as she closed the lid and started the cycle. As she picked it up she heard a low chuckle and felt a crawling sensation slither up her back. She quickly looked at Lilac, but while she didn't appear to have moved, Irony thought that, for just a second, she might have seen the gleam of an eye.

After that she never did laundry alone, or used the laundry room in another dorm, even though it was farther away. It wasn't worth the risk.

***

And then there was Mayfly. 

It was a few days later and Irony was hurrying to her work shift after her last class of the day.

"Storyteller! STORYTELLER!!"

Irony hunched over further as if she could escape notice and hurried faster for the main doors, but Mayfly darted around her and stopped square in the middle of the crosswalk (which Irony was dutifully walking around the edges of- it was one of Those Places.) 

Mayfly proudly waved a fashion magazine in Irony's face; "I have a book of stories I wish you to read to me!"

Irony flinched. She had a feeling that Mayfly had gotten the bum end of a trade and wouldn't realize until she started reading, but didn't see a way to back out of a direct request. She also worried that responding would pin her with a Name with the fey. Plus she was going to be late for work and was certain delaying this conversation would only make things worse.

"I am called Irony..."

Mayfly interrupted with a scoff, "You Tell Stories, you're the Storyteller. I offer you these things to read me these stories," and she displayed a handful of junk, not dissimilar from what the other fey had carried in its pockets.

Irony made a doubtful sound and looked closely, careful to touch nothing. There was a colorful glass bead bracelet that caught her eye and she considered carefully.

"I must honor an obligation..." Mayfly huffed, clearly about to argue that her Agreement was more important, "...and there are several stories in this book. It will take some time to read them all and you don't want me to rush." Mayfly pouted, only slightly appeased.

"i agree to meet you tomorrow by the stone fountain after my first meal, and will read you all the stories in this book in exchange for that glass bracelet."

Mayfly perked up immediately and crowed "Agreed!" then skipped off. (Irony tried not to watch, between the swirling colors and the skipping it made her a little seasick.) Irony finished her circle around the crosswalk and quickly stowed her bag under the front desk; she wasn't looking forward to the next day.

***

In general, the later in October it got the more weirdness was cropping up. Several of the Greek houses were planning parties and there were rumors that one group was going to do a bonfire in the woods. Irony thought that was a particularly bad idea, and suspected the Gentry of starting the rumor to lure in the foolish and unwary. 

She nervously turned the milky stone over and over in her hand, hidden in the pocket of her sweater. It was just the right size for a worry stone and stayed cool even if she held it in her fist for a long time. And Irony had plenty of worries.

Most mornings she was able to roll over and go back to sleep after the dawn bell, but this time she laid on her back staring at the ceiling, berating herself for making the Agreement with Mayfly. It was too much to hope that she'd get distracted and forget.

Irony sighed and pulled herself out of bed, deciding to get in a hot shower before the rest of the dorm woke up.


	10. Midterms

Irony sat on one of the benches surrounding the fountain and swung her legs idly while she waited. It was a cool, clear day and she was glad she'd grabbed a flannel to wear under her denim jacket. She hadn't had much appetite for breakfast, but she'd filled her pockets with an apple and nuts in case this took longer than she expected. A few crows were fluttering around the fountain, dipping their beaks in to drink, but she couldn't tell if they were just passing through or waiting.

"There you are!" Mayfly flounced up and plopped onto the bench next to her, dropping the magazine in Irony's lap. "It wasn't kind of you to make me wait."

"You made the agreement," Irony reminded her as she checked the back cover. Someone had marked through the address with black marker- probably lifted from a doctor's office somewhere. She sighed internally. "Ready to begin?"

"Yes!" Mayfly draped over Irony's shoulder so she could see the pictures. Irony repressed a shudder, but other than her breath smelling of swampwater Mayfly wasn't too unpleasant.

It took nearly two hours since Mayfly insisted that Irony read every photo caption. The fact that it was mostly pictures of fashion and makeup tips didn't seem to annoy her at all- if anything she was delighted. Irony carefully avoided any of the fey's attempts to lure her into conversation about fashion- too easy to accidentally offend, and it wasn't something Irony had a particular opinion on anyway. It all seemed like an awful lot of work for not much gain, and Irony was definitely of the jeans-and-Converse-hightops school of fashion.

At the end Mayfly hugged the magazine to her chest and presented Irony with the glass bracelet. "You did well enough, I suppose," she sniffed and then flounced off. Irony sighed with relief. Once again, her ankles under the bench were cold, but when she bent over to check there was nothing in the shadows that she could see. The crows had taken off after the first page- clearly it wasn't their kind of storytelling. Irony took a swig from her water bottle and stuffed it back in her bag, fishing out a cough drop. She had plenty of time before turning in her midterm paper for Western World Lit.

***

The hallway was absolutely packed with students. Irony shouldered her way through using the liberal application of elbows. The urge to say "Excuse me" was almost overwhelming, but after the politest shoving she could manage she saw what the holdup was: several cleaning staff and groundskeepers were standing around the classroom door next to her Lit class. An enormous tree had grown over the door, sealing off the room. It didn't appear to have grown up through the floor (and besides, they were on the second story), but there was clearly a disagreement on the safest way to remove it. One of the upperclassmen standing nearby scoffed, "Hope they didn't offer too much- who puts in this much effort for a midterm? Should have saved it for finals."

Irony reached her class, only to discover another delay. The class TA and Department Chair were huddled outside the door with the class roster and a stack of submitted papers, respectively. Inside, she could see Ms. Chan at the front of the room, lazily drawing loops in black marker on the dry erase board. Leo, the TA, briefly explained: "Ms. Chan, uh, isn't feeling well. I'll email you where our next class meeting with be. Follow the schedule in the syllabus and have the reading done." "Ms. Chan" glanced over her shoulder and smiled- her eyes were completely silver and her teeth were too sharp.

The Department Chair muttered under his breath "Second time this year- she needs to be more careful..." Mr. Books (yes, that was the name he chose) was the youngest English Department Chair in the history of the school but was already mostly grey. Irony briefly wondered how the Department Chair for the Arts handled these things or if they even bothered.

Unexpectedly free for an hour Irony wandered toward The Library, heading for the front desk just in time for an exasperated Oli to grab her arm. "You! You do it! I'm done!" He threw up his arms and stomped down the hallway toward the new wing, probably for more coffee. 

"I'm not even on the clock, what's going on?"

Hue sighed and rubbed her eyes. "One of the cats is in The Library and won't leave. We can't catch it but Mrs. Stonemeyer says it HAS to go."

Irony's ears perked up. She knew well enough to leave the cats alone- EU, like most college campuses had a fair population of feral cats. Of course, EU's cats were likely to have too many eyes, or tails, or their shadows pointed in the wrong direction, but Irony couldn't help herself- she loved cats and missed hers desperately. She fished a few items out of her bag and stuffed it under the desk. "Where did you see it last?"

"Top of bookshelf 23 on the right."

Irony counted under her breath until she reached the shelf, and looked up. Sure enough there was an enormous, fluffy cat, mostly in golds and browns, staring down at her.

Irony's jaw dropped and she let out a sigh of pure love, "Oh my goodness, look at you! You're beautiful!" He was much too well-groomed to be the usual feral and was easily the size of a Maine Coon. The cat idly washed a paw, ignoring her completely. Several books had toppled off the shelf and Irony collected them, chattering to the cat.

"I don't blame you, coming to The Library. It's quiet and warm and I know there are mice in the stacks. I bet books make a nice enough bed, too. But there's nothing to drink here, is there?" She sat crosswise on the floor and started sorting through the items she'd taken from her bag.

The first was the little Tupperware cup that she carried her cashews in for snacking. She then carefully opened several creamers and poured them into the cup. The cat was now watching her, one paw dangling off the shelf.

Setting the cup aside, she pretended to work on something else, humming softly until she felt a heavy THUMP land next to her and heard a tongue lapping. She smiled, watching the cat from the corner of her eye as it made short work of the creamer and then carefully washed its face. 

"You make me miss my boys at home," she sighed, "although you're probably bigger than the two of them put together. What would be a regal enough name for such a King of cats?" she mused, sorting through her Irish lore. Irusan was not a lucky name but, "Arusan would do." She was surprised to feel a head bump against her shoulder and turned to find the cat climbing into her lap, curling up and purring. Irony was delighted, carefully petting but the cat didn't seem to have sensitive ears. Taking her comb she gently drew it through the cat's silky fur and it purred louder.

"Irony! What did you DO?" She turned to find Hue, Oli, and a few other students huddled at the end of the aisle, staring at her in shock. The cat gave them a dismissive glance and turned so his back was facing them.

"I got him down from the shelf. Will you put these books back?" she explained, handing them the stack she'd retrieved.

Oli groaned, "You NAMED it, Irony! You can't just do that around here- it's not safe!"

She frowned. "It's not the cat's True Name..." but her voice trailed off as she looked down at the contented cat overflowing her lap. She HAD named it! She groaned and thumped her head against the books behind her on the shelf. She knew better than this! But it was hard to be too upset about it, really. She sighed and moved enough for Arusan to make a disgruntled noise and get up. 

"I have to go- if you leave The Library with me I'll give you more cream." She gathered up her odds and ends and the cat sat at her feet, looking expectant. She walked slowly, but Arusan didn't seem interested in leading the assistants on a merry chase anymore (they were still picking up scattered books- it looked like he'd jumped from the top of one shelf to the next halfway around The Library). She grabbed her bag and carefully held the door open, but Arusan followed her, his tail a regal plume.

Irony crouched on the front steps to refill the cup (she'd have to get more creamers). Once again he made short work on the creamer, purring and headbutting her knee and she couldn't resist giving him a few more pets. He then turned and sauntered off while Irony gave a sigh of relief- maybe it hadn't turned out too badly after all. She stood and glanced over her shoulder to see Oli giving her a disapproving glare through the glass door, but there wasn't much she could about that- she'd buy him a coffee next shift and he'd forgive her (he forgave a lot of things for coffee).


	11. The Summons

Irony quickly learned that she was in more trouble than she'd thought.

She was crossing the quad (on the marked path, of course), when a tall shadow stepped in front of her.

The creature standing there was one she'd never seen before (and for that she was deeply grateful). It almost seemed to be carved from bone it was so thin. The face was almost human, but it looked at her with such an expression of haughty disdain that she knew it would be unsafe to say such a thing out loud. This wasn't at all like Mayfly or Glmdrng, who seemed almost silly (although not harmless). This was someone Serious.

"You have been Summoned, follow me."

Irony was rooted to the spot- she had no idea what to do. After two (very long) steps it realized that she wasn't following and turned with a frown, returning again to stand staring down at her.

"Are you deaf? Or just dull-witted?" 

Irony took a breath to try and reply when the creature's eyes narrowed and glared at something over her shoulder. Irony felt a chill breath creep up her neck.

It continued, "We will not hurt your little pet. It will receive appropriate compensation." Irony swallowed as it looked her over distastefully, lingering on her fraying jean jacket.

Something must have passed between the two because the feeling of cold at her back dissipated and the creature nodded and turned again, starting off without looking over its shoulder. Irony scrambled to keep up, utterly terrified. However, it did not lead her off the path and into the woods. Instead, they turned towards the Theatre. At the door it turned to look at her, then stepped inside without another word. Irony followed, blinking at the change in brightness only to discover that she was alone except for a crowd of students on the stage, hovering around a teacher who looked as harried as Mr. Books.

"There you are!" Irony flinched, but he hurried over and started explaining quickly. "We've had a... a mishap, of sorts. Our narrator for the prologue was, was not satisfactory." He glanced nervously at the empty seats, then turned back to her. "You were, er, recommended. It seems that none of the other students will do..."

Irony became aware that most of the students were staring at her in open curiosity, although at least one glared at her and turned away. She couldn't make out their whispers and mutters, but she caught at least one fragment, "...do you think she's the Storyteller?" Irony almost groaned out loud.

He dragged her to one side of the stage which wrapped along the front of the auditorium and thrust a script at her. Frowning she looked at the highlighted section and suddenly smiled. "I think I know why I'm here," she explained and handed the script back.

"But, but don't you...?"

"Nope, I'm good." She put her bag on the floor, wrapping the strap around her ankle (just to be on the safe side), and took off her jean jacket, tying it around her waist so she could roll up her sleeves.

He stepped closer and whispered, "There's an Audience, be careful." Irony looked out over the empty seats and nodded- she knew that at least her Guide was listening.

The Instructor ("Art") quickly gestured the students into their positions. At his nod, Irony took a deep breath and projected...

Two households, both alike in dignity,  
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,  
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,  
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.  
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes  
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;  
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows  
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.  
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,  
And the continuance of their parents' rage,  
Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,  
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;  
The which if you with patient ears attend,  
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

The echoes of her voice seemed to run around the back of the theatre, ending in a soft sigh that could almost be laughter. She turned and looked at stage where the students stood, staring at her with jaws hanging. She waved a "come on" gesture, but nothing happened. She then hissed, "Sampson!" And the student suddenly jerked and delivered his line. 

Art almost collapsed with relief as the students got over their confusion to focus on the play. "Give me your email- I'll send you the rehearsal schedule." He looked anxiously out at the darkened theatre, but relaxed further as the play continued. "You are very generous to share your time with us." 

He was clearly struggling with a way to say "thank you" safely so she just nodded, dipping her head toward the empty seats. "I understand."

Sure enough, she had the rehearsal schedule by the time she got back to her dorm. Since she would only be needed at the very beginning it wouldn't impact her work hours too badly, but she crawled under the covers and began shaking with delayed reaction.

She had truly been Noticed.


	12. The Day After

“…You have such a February face, So full of frost, of storm and cloudiness…” 

Irony replied automatically, "Much Ado About Nothing."

Tavis grinned and rested his chin on the stack of books on the table across from her. "You're much less jumpy today."

"You weren't even trying."

"True," he replied with an half shrug and leaned back in the chair, crossing his ankles on the table.

There was a betting pool among the Library assistants about what Tavis really was. Was he some kind of Librarian? An Elsewhere student who had gotten stuck, or cursed, or the short end of a bad deal? Was he Gentry, or maybe a ghost? Irony wasn't sure and didn't particularly care, although for a ghost we was going a good job of getting dust on her books.

She gently shoved his feet off the table and he grinned again. "Really now, why so glum?"

Irony stuck her hands in the pockets of the deep blue velvet jacket she'd found hanging on her doorknob that morning. It had a hood and a dark satin lining hiding several pockets, more than warm enough for winter and long enough to flare around her hips. In the pocket had been a scrap of cloth so fine that it dissolved into ash when she handled it with the words, "Finish the play" written in something that might have been ink. Turning her white stone over and over in her hand Irony tried to decide; if Tavis was Gentry he didn't seem to care about the iron on her bag or her ring, but it probably wasn't safe to say something where someone Else might overhear.

"Just... considering my options."

He modded sagely, clearly mocking her. "Always a worthwhile pastime..."

Annoyed, Irony blew the dust off her books in his direction and he chuckled. She looked at him thoughtfully a moment and the words fell out before she thought it through, "What do you do here all day?"

Tavis looked surprised and then inordinately pleased. "Well, a bit of this and that, you know. Some reading, some research. I keep an eye on things, you see, make sure things are in their proper place."

At least once that Hue knew of Tavis had led a lost student out of the stacks, but since he didn't mention it Irony decided not to bring it up.

"What do you research?"

"Ah- I should have known you'd ask that. Elsewhere of course," he replied, standing up and politely pushing in the chair before he gave her a wink and sauntered off. Irony couldn't decide if he meant the University or somewhere Else.

***

That night Irony sat up, waiting as patiently as possible for the soft scraping sounds outside her door and the cool chill that leaked in around the edges. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Sure enough, the cloaked figure was picking through the veritable mountain of creamers and butters she'd left out, along with an actual bowl of sweet cream she'd cobbled together in the dorm kitchen. It straightened up and turned its hood towards her (she still didn't dare look inside).

Irony swallowed, she'd rehearsed this little speech over and over until she (hopefully) had it perfect.

"I appreciate that You interceded on my behalf yesterday." At least, that's how things had seemed to her and she hoped desperately that she had interpreted things correctly, but the being just hovered there, waiting for her to continue. "I would like to give you this, freely, as a gesture of my estimation." She held out a new bracelet she had finished earlier. Much wider than her first bracelet, it was made completely of blues and purples with a pattern of diamonds and zig-zags that looked almost like lightning. A smoky tendril reached out and withdrew the bracelet, only to reappear with both bracelets wrapped around it. Irony gave a sigh of relief as the hood bobbed, then turned away. She quickly retreated, quietly shutting her door. She wasn't sure if it was enough to make them Even, but then again the mist-being had accepted the bracelet, so maybe they were fine. She groaned and crawled into bed- trying to figure out the Gentry gave her a headache, and she'd be hurting tomorrow if she didn't get some sleep.

All the same, she laid awake for a long, long time.


	13. Decsion

Irony gulped. "She what?!"

Hue darted around and started pushing the middle of Irony's back to get her moving. "Stonemeyer wants to see you as soon as you come in and no, she didn't tell me why."

Irony started walking reluctantly. "Where are we going?"

"Stonemeyer's office."

"She has an office?" Irony was so surprised she stopped walking for a moment, then hurriedly caught up as Hue rolled her eyes.

"What, did you think she just lurked in the stacks all day? Wait- nevermind, don't answer that." She turned a corner away from the stacks that contained a hallway of narrow doors that Irony had never seen before. At the very end of the hall one door stood open. Inside, Mrs. Stonemeyer sat at a massive oak desk with a green blotter and brass lamp, writing neat copperplate with a fountain pen on school stationery.

Without looking up, she said "Very good, Hue. You may close the door on the way out."

Irony abruptly found herself standing alone, listening to the soft scritch of the pen on the paper. Blowing lightly on the sheet Mrs. Stonemeyer set it aside and folded her hands, regarding Irony closely. She gestured to the solitary chair facing her desk, "You may sit."

Remembering her manners, Irony nodded and sat. "You're very kind."

"Do you know why I've asked you here?"

"No m'am." 

What could almost have been the shadow of a smile crossed her face too quickly for Irony to be completely sure. "What do you intend to do with your degree?" She picked up a manila folder and began flipping through it idly.

Irony was at a complete loss for a moment. She'd talked about this with her advisor but... "I haven't decided yet. Most likely research, or maybe editing."

Stonemeyer gave a soft hum. "Not teaching?"

In her pocket Irony clutched her stone to ground herself. "I- I'm not good in front of groups. M'am."

"And no writing of your own? No poetry? No creative stories?"

Irony was trying to control her breathing- she didn't know what was going on here. "N-No m'am."

The Librarian gave a soft "hmm" and sat back. "Why not Library Science?"

"Well, I did consider it. My mother has her MA and I remember her studying while I was in middle school. I volunteered at the Library but..."

"It was a public library?" Irony nodded. "Too many people, not enough research?" Irony shifted uncomfortably, then gave a hesitant nod. "Do you enjoy working here?"

Irony blinked- this was about... her job? "I do, very much."

"Most students who work here follow other paths. A few do well. Others... don't stay long. I think you have potential. You do well here in The Library. You are Respectful and care for the books. You don't let Tavis terrorize you and you get lost significantly less than most students do in their first year. I have reviewed your courses. With your high school AP credits I believe that you could maintain your literature studies alongside a Library Science degree."

Irony realized her mouth was hanging open and quickly closed it. "Th-that's very generous..."

"...but you're not sure you're staying."

Irony's shoulders slumped. "I like it here, at The Library, a lot. But, there's a lot going on and..."

Mrs. Stonemeyer sighed and a surprisingly soft look of understanding crossed her face. "You're scared. You don't feel safe, and think it might be best to go elsewhere."

"I don't really want to go, but, I'm so confused! And, and I don't know if I can get a scholarship as good someplace else and the cost for my family..."

"That would be the other advantage of declaring as a Library major."

Irony blinked, not understanding.

"I hear a great deal of what goes on around campus." She leaned forward and said softly, "Tavis is a terrible gossip," and leaned back with a satisfied look at the expression of surprise on Irony's face. She dusted some invisible lint off her desk and continued, "You have some allies, but they can only help you so much. The Library is Neutral. There are protections for those who Belong to The Library. As a declared major, those protections would extend to you. You would be expected to remain on campus over the summers to complete your internship requirement, but there is housing and a small stipend attached. Are you interested?"

Irony gaped for a moment and tried to rally her thoughts. "Would I still be able to maintain my linguistics minor?"

"It works on paper- beyond that it's up to you."

She took a deep breath and asked the most important question, "What is the Cost?"

Mrs. Stonemeyer folded her hands again. "Your effort. Your dedication. We are The Library. We have Rules, but we do not Bargain as some do." She sniffed and gave the velvet coat a meaningful look. "It is our hope that you'll choose to stay on after graduating and pursue your MA here, and possibly remain after, but it is not a requirement for the major or the internship. And do not mistake me- this will not protect you from your own carelessness or foolishness, but as I said..." What could have almost been a smile quirked up a corner of her lips, "You have Potential and I think you would do well here. I suggest that you consider it." She stood up, suddenly businesslike again. "If you agree, speak to your advisor."

Irony scrambled up out of the chair and resisted the urge to bow. "Yes m'am." She floundered for words a moment, "I appreciate your thoughtfulness and understanding of my situation."

Stonemeyer gave a short nod and opened the door to her office. "I believe that Gem is out sick today so Oli will need help with reshelving now that midterms are past. We will speak again."

Irony nodded and scurried off down the hallway, feeling more hopeful than she had in a while.

***

"You can't bring a cat in here, Irony!"

She tried to snap to attention but she was half-asleep on her feet and stifled a yawn. The last few days had been hectic, but after a meeting with her advisor she had decided to take the dual major. Mom was THRILLED that she had changed her mind, ("I knew that college would be a stabilizing influence for you!" Irony had nearly laughed out loud and just barely held it in.)

She blinked around slowly. She'd worked until closing and then studied in the new wing until they kicked her out. There was a fair amount of overlap between majors, but she wanted to review the courses and syllabi she'd be taking. It was more challenging than she'd expected- apparently the Librarian Internship was much more exclusive than Mrs. Stonemeyer had implied. She'd asked a few questions at the front desk and word must have gotten around fast since every Librarian on the clock stopped by to say hello, introduce themselves, and pepper her with advice.

Periwinkle tapped her foot. "You know you can't invite in the cats!"

Irony looked down to find a brown-and-gold floof seated at her feet. "Arusan? I didn't let him in..."

One of the other RAs gave a horrified gasp. "You named it?!" A third RA appeared and there was a hushed argument.

Periwinkle glared at Arusan disapprovingly as Irony fumbled with her key. "You're responsible for what he does when he's in the dorm." Arusan lazily waved his tail and neatly stepped over the line of salt, jumping onto Irony's bed and settling down to lick a paw.

"Okay." Irony was so tired she could barely care, but once the door was closed she couldn't help but be happy that he'd come to visit her. She curled around him, stroking his gold-and-shadow fur as he purred loud enough to vibrate the bed.

Irony was aware that she'd fallen down the rabbit hole at some point. The students at Elsewhere fell on a fairly standardized bell curve. The first group of students went through their years of study blind to anything unusual, or even if they heard the rumors never saw anything for themselves. The next portion were students who had seen and heard enough that they were dabbling in the shallow end of the weird. Elsewhere wasn't really safe for either group, but the middles were more likely to try and turn things to their advantage (and often failed, to their dismay). The third group, well, anyone could be Taken, but the third group were most likely to disappear and not come back, or became part of Elsewhere in different ways. Irony had a feeling that the line between the last two groups was very thin and she was balanced on the edge.

She stared thoughtfully at her bookshelf (now supplemented by a milk crate she'd rescued for extra storage.)  Malory and Spencer and Shakespeare had exposed her to the idea of the Gentry, so when she found herself living beside them it just hadn't seemed all that strange, and now that she knew there was no going back.

"What should I do, Arusan? I can still leave..." He continued purring, eyes squinted shut as he kneaded her blankets. Just as Irony drifted off to sleep, she thought the cat turned to looked at her with glowing golden eyes.

***  
Around three am Arusan scratched to be let out, and Irony stumbled down the hall to make sure he made it out the main doors. The hall was brightly lit and empty, and Irony gratefully locked her door and fell back into bed, making sure her salt was still in place.


	14. Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I really REALLY want to write something about Hallowe'en at EU but... the muse is just not working with me. AT ALL. I already have the rest of the semester planned out, so I'm just going to *makes magic hand-wavey motions* bypass Hallowe'en and if any story occurs I'll slip it in. Sorry for the slip in continuity, but I didn't want to wait too long and have the whole story dry up. Thanks for reading along!

Thanksgiving had been strange.

Thanksgiving was a big deal in Irony’s family. Uncle Will and his husband Mark stayed overnight in the guest room, and the twins (who are now six camped) out in Joe’s room (much to his dismay). It made for a very full and noisy house, and while she loved her uncles and cousins, Irony usually ended up to retreating to her room unless required to socialize. They were pretty understanding about it, and Uncle Mark especially would sit outside with her to talk and catch up when the twins were too much. Nan was smart and insisted on staying at a hotel that she had booked months ahead of time and sometimes irony envied her.

But EU had rubbed off more than she thought, even though she took pains to be “normal”. She was careful to not leave salt packets in her clothes and even did her own laundry, just in case. The cats took a long time to warm up to her, sniffing and shying away for a few hours before they finally relaxed and were as cuddly as ever. She suspected that she smelled like Arusan, and the thought worried at her a little.

And then at dinner, it took less than ten minutes for someone to realize that she hadn’t said “please” or “thank you” once. 

“Where are the rolls?” “Butter? Of course- here you go.” 

Once Mom realized it was a big deal of course, even though Dad tried to cover for her and explain that she ate in a cafeteria every day. 

“That’s no excuse for rudeness!”

Irony shrank in her seat and tried to say the words but they kept getting caught in her throat. Nan gave her a sympathetic look and patted her hand, but the rest of the meal was painful and Irony was relieved to slip away after scraping plates and loading the dishwasher.

A few minutes later Nan knocked softly on her door. She sat on the bed and Irony laid her head in Nan’s lap like she had when she was little and Nan gently stroked her hair.

“It's not easy, is it?”

Irony shook her head, wiping away stray tears that insisted on leaking out. “I’m trying, I really am, but I keep getting confused. The rules keep getting mixed up.”

Nan made a questioning noise, so Irony went on. "There are all these rules, and they don't always tell you what they are or what they mean, they just expect you to know. And then if you get one wrong..."

Nan looked at her, "You mean your parents?"

Irony nodded, stifling a sob. "And school, and, and everyone. EU has rules too, but they're clear and specific, and they even make a sort of sense. But the rules are different and I keep forgetting..."

Her grandmother sighed, a pained sound low in her chest. She gently rocked Irony, stroking her hair sadly. “Do you remember that I used to have a sister?”

Irony nodded and sniffled. “Great-aunt Annie. She died when you were twelve.”

“What else do you remember about her?”

Irony thought carefully, her tears drying up slowly. “She was very pretty, and loved to sing. And she fell from the cliffs. They never found her.”

Nan sighed. “That’s not the whole story.”

Irony rolled over and looked at Nan. She was in her nineties now, but she still looked like she could hike over the Welsh hills and milk a cow if needed.

Nan smiled gently. “Annie did love to sing, and her voice was sweet as a bird’s. She made you smile just to hear her, and I loved her very much. We shared a bed, and she’d sing to me softly at night to help me sleep.”

“One day we were berry-picking in the little wooded valley. Do you remember it?”

Irony nodded. She’d only been to Wales once when she was nine and they went to visit family. They’d stayed in the cottage that Nan had grown up in and was now cared for by a distant cousin. She and Joe and slept on a pallet in the loft and it felt like an adventure. The strip of woods wasn’t very large- maybe a half-mile wide and a mile long, and they’d told her…

“If you get lost in the woods, walk up hill until you are out of the trees and then walk around until you see the cottage.”

Nan sighed again, pleased but also sad. “That day Annie got lost. We called and called for her. The whole village came and combed the woods for three days, but there was no sign except her berry-basket.”

“On the third day she came stumbling out of the trees, torn and scratched, filthy and crying. She’d heard a lovely voice singing and had followed it, singing back and forth, but as it got dark she realized she was lost and started walking uphill to get out.”

Nan paused. “She said the hill was too high- she couldn’t climb it, and then she’d heard barking dogs.”

Irony sucked in a breath- she knew what that meant.

“She came out alive, but she didn’t sing anymore. They told her not to talk about it, that she was lucky to be back, and eventually she stopped talking altogether. They tried to pretend that it hadn’t happened because they were afraid. We left out bread and milk, but it was too late for Annie. She was changed. She’d stand staring into the woods for hours, but never said why. I think, I know, that she was listening. Hoping to hear that voice again, even though it had led her astray.”

“One year later we woke up and she was gone. Some of the villagers said she must have thrown herself over the cliff, but they helped us search the wood anyway. They found her shawl hanging from the great oak in the center of the woods, and after that they stopped looking.”

Irony squeezed Nan’s hands, and Nan wiped away a few tears of her own.

“Every now and then, someone would say they saw her, walking through the wood, or heard a voice singing. But they were careful not to follow, and I never saw her again.”

She went back to stroking Irony’s hair. “You’re like her, you know.” Irony frowned, but Nan went on, “Not lovely in the same way, and I know you don’t sing, but you have her Voice, and will it or nil it you are fae-touched. Do you remember what your name means?”

Irony froze- she hadn’t thought about her proper name in months, even though her family used it and she responded. “Bryn means… hill.” She shivered. Nan nodded and stroked her hair some more.

"You're set on staying this out?"

Irony nodded. "I think... I want to try. I like the Library. I feel... it feels right there. Like I belong. It's... it's comfortable?" She looked to Nan to see if she understood and received an answering nod.

“You have her Voice, when you choose to use it. It can be a protection for you, but be careful. Be polite, and be smart, and make no promises, aye?”

Irony nodded and hugged Nan tightly.

“Now come, it’s time for dessert and it will make your mother happy to you sit with us a while.”

Irony sighed but smiled. “Yes, Nan.”


	15. Finals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trying to find the first ficlet that mentions the Librarian with the sword. If anyone has it will you please link it to me? I want to give credit where it's due! I don't think she had a name but in my head she is Marjory-with-the-Sword. :}

It was finals and you could see a cloud of desperation hanging over the students in The Library.

Irony quietly circled the worktables, reshelving books and collecting strays. There just weren’t enough study rooms, so small groups of students whispered quietly to each other over mounds of books and drifts of paper that kept ending up on the floor.

One student walked up with a precarious stack and a haunted look on her face. “Uhm… you, work here?” Irony nodded reassuringly, as if the wheeled cart topped with books didn’t give her away. “I’m looking for…” she joggled her stack trying to show Irony a printed sheet from one of the computers next door. Irony slipped it out on her hand and absently straightened the stack, ignoring the strangled “Thank you,” the student just barely repressed.

“You’re writing on Byron and the Bluestockings?” The student nodded, palpable waves of exhaustion rolling off of her. “Right then. These are no good, “ she quickly crossed off five titles, “they’re derivative and don’t add any new information. Add these two…” she jotted down a new title and an article, “that should help.”

The student breathed out, surprise on her face. “Are you sure?”

Irony nodded, “Advice freely given.” The student gave her a relieved smile as Irony removed the useless books and added them to the cart. The student then marched off, determination in her stride, to find the new resources.

Irony started her circular route again, noting that one student didn’t seem to have moved since the last time she came around. She looked closer and started to worry. He sat staring straight down at an old, leather-bound book. The pages were brown with age and appeared to be hand written. His jaw hung loose and he didn’t blink.

She stepped up and tapped him on the shoulder. “Are you all right?” There was no response. She waved a hand in front of his eyes with no effect, either. Now she was starting to get nervous. She glanced at the writing… and recoiled, ripping her gaze away from the strange, writhing text. “Right, this won’t do at all.” She reached over and slammed the book shut. The student jerked, then blinked, rubbing his eyes, and looked around.

“What… do you need the book back?”

“Yes,” she replied firmly. “Do you remember where you found this book?”

“Uh, no. It was just lying on a shelf. I was looking for something else but it looked interesting and I had some time before my class at noon…”

Irony frowned. “It’s almost four in the afternoon.”

“WHAT?!” He jumped up, scrambling to collect his backpack and papers, “I’m so late, I have to go…”

Irony put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. “Get something to eat and drink first, okay?” She saw Hue moving in their direction and waved her over. “Hue will take you to the café.” She leaned aside and whispered, “Don’t let him leave yet, he’s disoriented.” Hue nodded- it happened a lot in The Library, and the café usually provided a free coffee and muffin to anyone escorted by the Library staff. The comfy chairs and smell of coffee would go a long way to getting him back on the right track.

Meanwhile, Irony drummed her fingers on the cover of the book and frowned at it. She felt an urge to look at the strange writing again and firmly repressed it. Sandwiching it under her arm, she started looking for one of the Librarians. Mrs. Stonemeyer was nowhere to be found, the door to her office standing open and empty (no one would dare go in without her invitation). Mr. Leeds wasn’t wandering among the stacks or in his office. Knocking at the Rare Books room garnered no response (which was not really a surprise), but it left Irony in a tough spot. The book clearly wasn’t safe to leave out, but she didn’t know what to do with it, and the fact that all the Librarians were missing was unusual and worrying.

Taking a deep breath she wound her way through the stacks to the table where she first encountered Tavis. Turning, she stood in from of the bookshelf he’d seemed to walk through. She closed her eyes a minute, remembering what Nan had said, thinking about how it felt when she read aloud, when she projected on the stage…

“Tavis, I need your help.”

It was risky, incredibly risky, since she still didn’t know what Tavis was, not to mention that Something Else might hear her. But sure enough Tavis stepped around the corner with an annoyed look on his face.

“That really wasn’t necessary, was it? I don’t like being ordered about just because some student can’t find a book…”

Irony held out the book, firmly sandwiched between her palms. Tavis’ voice trailed off.

“Oh. Hm. I see.” He took it from her, glanced inside with a wince and shut it firmly. “Right. Okay. Where did you find it?”

Irony explained about the student and how he was recovering in the café with Hue, and that the Librarians has disappeared.

“Well, I suppose you were right to Call me after all. This thing gets out every once in a while- usually we have to hunt all over to find it. It’s good that he only lost a few hours- maybe a week of nightmares and he’ll be right as rain.”

Irony nodded, relieved to know she’d done the right thing. “So where is everyone? It’s non-stop in here and half the assistants are studying for their own exams.”

“You know that door under the new wing? The one with the rather dire electrical warning sign?”

Irony nodded- it had been part of her tour. The door opened onto a blank wall. It wasn’t in any of the blueprints and no one remembered building it. They slapped a warning on the door but it was impossible to keep locked. They’d even tried welding it shut with no luck.

“One of the assistants was showing off…”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. Opened the door and there was a hallway behind it. The friend stepped in, the door shut, and when they reopened it, no hallway, no friend. There are a lot of regretful tears right now.” Tavis made a face- in his book you got what you deserved if you stepped through doors with warnings on them.

Irony chewed her lip. “What will they do?”

“Marjory thinks she knows another entrance.”

“The Librarian with the big sword? She told me to always carry food in my bag and recommended that I get a dagger.”

“Really? Good advice, that. In the meantime, keep holding down the fort over here. They have me running back and forth doing _errands_ ,” he said with disgust, “but the others should be back soon. Good job with the book by the way,” he said with a nod of approval.

Irony nodded in return, feeling more confident than she had in, well, maybe ever. Tavis gave a wave and marched over to the Rare Book room door, knocked briskly, then opened the door and stepped inside, closing it firmly behind him. Irony wasn’t sure what surprised her more- that he bothered to knock or that he dared to go in without an invitation. (She almost expected him to just walk right through the door, which wouldn’t have been too out of place, either.)

She sighed, then headed back to her cart which had accumulated another layer of books while she was gone. It would be a relief when finals were over and things could get as much back to normal as they ever were.


	16. End of Term

Irony sat on a bench, watching the sun set. The wind was bitterly cold, but she’d been hunched over her laptop for too long and desperately needed some fresh air. With the blue coat and Nan’s scarf tucked around her face she was warm enough, and she scattered cashews for the half-dozen crows that were keeping her company. A particularly large fellow was perched on the bench next to her and she made sure to only give him whole ones, which he seemed to prefer.

Irony turned as the crows fluffed and scolded, then took off for the trees. The largest one accepted one more cashew.

“Light thickens, and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood. Good things of day begin to droop and drowse, while night's black agents to their prey do rouse.”

The crow bobbed once more and dropped a metal tab from a soda can, then took off after the others. Irony was bemused- where had it come from? She considered it a moment, then threaded it onto the chain with her ring.

“Talking to the crows again? Which one is that from?”

Irony grinned at Gem and Oli. “Macbeth, Act II scene iii.” Oli rolled his eyes but Gem snugged up against Irony for warmth.

“We’re going to Denny’s, want to come with?”

“Sure.” She wasn’t ready to go back to the dorms just yet- she knew she’d be up for hours studying. No one was sure when Gem and Oli had started dating, but everyone knew they were together after the first time they traumatized a student who stumbled across them making out in the stacks.

Irony was stretched pretty thin between classes, working at The Library, and her finals. Thankfully, the play was over. She hadn’t seen the Gentry who had lead her there again, but you could feel eyes watching from the theatre shadows so she was always carefully punctual. The costumes weren’t traditional which was a relief- Irony was worried they’d make her wear a period dress. Instead, it was a quasi-modern take on a page’s uniform that was surprisingly comfy. Actually speaking in front of a human audience seemed easy after the unseen watchers, but it was a still a lot of people and she was relieved to escape into the wings for the rest of the play. There had only been three shows, but Mrs. Stonemeyer had clearly begrudged her time out of The Library, so she hoped she wouldn't be called on to do something like that again. She loved to attend plays, and getting to see all the backstage work that went into it made her appreciate it even more. For the most part she stayed out from underfoot, but the cast and crew had warmed up to her when it was clear she'd respect theatre traditions (and there were a LOT of traditions to keep track of- most she'd heard of before, but not all and she guessed some were custom to EU). One or two had asked if she’d be in next semester’s production but she had stayed carefully noncommittal.

They started to head toward the Denny's, which appeared just as the sun sank behind the trees. You could stare right at it, blink once, and there it was. There were science students who made trying to capture it their semester project. The rumour was if you caught it on film it was a guaranteed "A", but no one had succeeded yet. The people who worked there just hung out until it showed up. Arguably it was supposed to be one of the better jobs of campus (much safer and a more reliable wage than working in the Walmart), but no one knew what happened if they didn't get out before sunup (unless you worked there, and they never said). 

Suddenly behind them there was a strident "meow!". "Arusan!" Irony was delighted- she hadn't seem much of him lately. He twined between her ankles, then walked in front of them and sat down firmly. The three looked doubtfully at each other.

"Is this another one of your- things?"

Irony scowled at Oli, but Arusan didn't seem to take offense. Instead he stood up, turned his back to them and looked over one shoulder with another commanding "meow!", then set off across the grass to their right.

"Uh, isn't that a bad idea?" Gem wondered, but Irony just tightened the strap on her bag and followed.

"He hasn't led me wrong so far and I'm not going to start ignoring him now." Oli dug in his heels until Gem impatiently pulled on his wrist. Oli slouched along, muttering under his breath. In minutes a mist crept over the quad so thick that they wouldn't have been able to see the path at all, but a fluffy plume of tail steered them steadily. It seemed to take much, much longer to get to the Denny's than usual, but they suddenly stepped through a wall of mist and there it was- brightly lit and as normal as anything at EU ever was. Looking behind them the mist hovered at the edge of the asphalt, slowly roiling from within.

Gem shivered, then turned to Arusan who was licking a paw and ignoring them. "That was very kind of you," he said and gave a little bow. Oli rolled his eyes but Irony crouched to scratch the cat's ears, who gave a deep, rumbling purr before heading back into the mist.

Oli took one more glance at the mist and said firmly, "Coffee. Yes, definitely coffee."

"And pie!" Gem enthused, almost skipping up to the doors.

Irony considered that a moment, "Definitely pie."

They huddled into a booth and the waiter brought around coffee for Gem and Oli and hot chocolate for Irony. (That was another thing- the staff never asked what you wanted to drink- they always just knew. And supposedly if you wanted something unusual, like nectar from spring flowers or summer dew, they always had it, again without asking.) By the time they finished, the mist was gone and they could see clearly across campus.

"Fricking EU," Oli grumbled under his breath.

***  
Finals were finally over and Irony was exhausted. Most students had already left campus, eager to start their winter break far from EU. She and the other assistants had been reshelving books non-stop and making threatening calls to get interlibrary loans returned promptly. (Some of the Libraries they could borrow from were- less traditional, than others. Some of them had truly _terrible_ fines.) She had also been staying up late every night, working on holiday gifts.

Marva had been delighted by her string bracelet in pinks and purples. The RAs had been touched by theirs, and Periwinkle double-pleased since, despite her name, her bracelet was in red and golds (she really wasn't fond of pale blue, but most people assumed. Irony had bothered to ask.) Hue's was teal and violet, while Gem's, of course, was a rainbow. Oli's was Ravenclaw colours. ("Not Slytherin?" asked Gem, and thereby started their first fight since they started dating.)

She was in the first sub-basement, moving the medical models back into place on shelves. "A bit gruesome, aren't they?"

Irony shrugged, "They're plastic, I'm not deeply concerned."

Tavis gave a disappointed sigh and slouched against the bookshelf. "You're simply no fun anymore. Do you know I made a student shriek the other day?"

She gave him a flat look. "I'm sure it was very impressive." Tavis snickered and tried to hide a smirk, which made her chuckle as well. "Actually, I'm glad to run into you."

Tavis looked surprised. "You are?"

"I have something for you."

Now he looked alarmed. "You do?"

She held out a string bracelet in the colours Tavis wore most often, greys and navy blues. He gingerly took it from her hand and turned in over cautiously, examining it.

"Put it on- it won't bite." She paused a moment. "Freely given."

Tavis twitched a little, then slipped it on his wrist and knotted the strings. He stared at it, frowning a little. "What does this mean?"

Now it was Irony's turn to feel uncomfortable. "Well- you weren't nearly as annoying as you could have been," Tavis grinned a little at that, "and you were even helpful a time or two. So I thought I'd make one for you, too."

He gently rubbed the woven threads between his fingers. "You made this?"

"Yes." She shrugged, trying for indifferent. "It's a thing I do."

Tavis laughed softly, then stepped back and gave her a formal bow that would have been the envy of the theatre students if they could have seen it. "Your thoughtfulness and consideration are deeply appreciated." He straightened up, now affecting a lighthearted tone of his own. "It's been a long time since someone gave me a gift." Sticking his hands in his pockets he gazed off over the stacks. "You'd best get going- they lock up early the last day before the break."

Irony dusted her hands off after sliding the last plastic box into place. "See you in a few weeks."

"Yep, see you." Tavis seemed preoccupied already, stepped around the corner and was gone. Irony shrugged- it had gone better than she expected. He might have refused, or not been able to accept it. But although neither seemed comfortable saying it, she did consider him a friend, and it made Irony feel good that he accepted it. As she stepped outside a light haze of snow was falling and she hurried to her to room to finish packing before her parents showed up in an hour. She had survived her first semester at EU after all.


	17. Winter Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's been so long, but this story isn't quite done yet! :D I know this is a shortie, but I felt the next part needed to be separate chapter, so keep an eye out!

...was the longest three weeks of Irony's life so far.

Even more so than Thanksgiving, Christmas was about family and Irony felt smothered. The weirdness of EU faded away quickly enough- she was in the car less than an hour before she found herself wondering why she was wearing a pull tab on her necklace. She remembered the crows quickly enough, but it seemed so far removed, like something that happened a year ago or in a dream rather than yesterday. But she couldn't ignore how out of place she felt. Like everything was a little bit off and no one noticed but her. Or maybe it was her. She felt slightly too big for her skin, or stretched, or... something.

Thankfully, her family expected her to retreat to her room and she did, re-reading favorite books and staring out the window for hours while the muffled tunes of Christmas carols from the animated specials the twins were watching drifted up the stairs. It was strange, though- when she came in the room they were always happy to have her join them, but the moment she was out of sight it was like they forgot she was there, or that she should even be there. It got her out of some housework, but it was unnerving and she couldn't help worrying a bit until Nan arrived. Nan had no trouble keeping track of her, hunting her down when she'd been gone too long and involving her in the less-stressful holiday traditions.

The cats, on the other hand, never seemed to warm to Irony the way they usually did. By the end of the holiday they would purr beside her, but they didn't swarm her with head butts and sleep on her head they way they had before EU. She found herself missing Arusan- she loved her cats, but her relationship with them had changed and she wasn't sure why. Maybe she was just growing up, but she had a feeling that wasn't all.

The week between Christmas and New Years was hardest. Everyone was basking in the peace and quiet now that the twins had gone home. Her brother had enjoyed inciting them to mischief, and the adults had exhausted themselves trying to keep up with the mayhem. Irony's dad pulled her aside one night after dinner.

"Bryn." Irony twitched- she couldn't shake the feeling that using her name was _wrong_ , but there was no way that she could tell her parents that. "You spent a lot of time with Nan at Christmas- what did you two talk about?"

Irony thought it over, "Nothing special really. School, the books I'm reading, how big the twins are getting. The usual stuff." She gave a slight shrug.

"Did she say anything about going home? I mean, back to Wales?"

Irony was surprised and shook her head. "Not to me. Why- does she?" There was an odd, hollow feeling at the thought, something sad and expectant.

Dad sighed and shifted in his seat, glancing out the kitchen window. "She's feeling her age- she's almost 90 you know, and she wants to go home one last time." He looked at her carefully. "She probably won't come back, and will stay living with the cousins."

"Oh." He didn't have to spell it out, Irony knew what that meant. She reached for her neck, half expecting Nan's scarf to be there. "When will she go?"

Irony's dad let out a soft sigh- he and his brother had talked it over with their spouses, when and how to tell the kids. But Bryn wasn't a child any more- she'd grown up a lot in the past six months. Just as quiet maybe, but less frightened and more thoughtful. "In the spring, when the weather settles. Are you okay with this?"

She nodded slowly. "If it's what Nan wants, then of course. But... will I get to see her? Before she goes?"

He nodded, "We'll make sure of it." She smiled a little, reassured, and not for the first time he wished he could give her a hug. Bryn had never been an affectionate child, and it had taken them a while to understand that she was touch-adverse. But she surprised him by standing up and walking around his chair, wrapping an arm over his shoulder for a half-hug.

"It's okay, Dad. Nan will be happy there."

He choked a little, his eyes wet. "Thank you, Bryn." She shivered a little and pulled away, then nodded and slipped back up to her room.

***

The new year was quiet after that, and Irony was relieved to be heading back to the dorm early to help prepare the Library for the new term. She had a lot to think about.


	18. Pre-Spring

Irony stepped inside the doors of the Library with a deep sigh of relief. There were few students moving around campus, yet- the dorms technically didn't open for move-in until Monday. The quietness and empty walkways were pleasant, at first, but without a crowd of students around, Irony quickly felt herself being watched, intensely. It didn't matter how near or far she was from the woods, and the crawling sensation almost had her running up the front steps.

No one was sure what the Gentry did during holiday breaks. If they missed the students while they were gone, or even noticed. Some theorized it was like birds migrating- sometimes there were students and sometimes there weren't and the Gentry didn't much care one way or the other. Except, of course, when there were students around, there was something to Play With.

Irony shivered. Was she the first robin of spring to the unseen watchers?

She quickly stowed her bag under the front desk and signed in, eyes skimming the list of who else was there already. All the assistants developed the habit early- if you notice someone hasn't clocked out at their usual time, it usually means a search party and overtime. Most of the assistants wouldn't be in until Monday, and Irony looked forward to a quiet day shelving books and getting reacquainted with the Library.

There were only a few books in the return bin, so she tucked them under an arm, walking slowly down the aisles, reshelving as she went. The early morning sunlight slanted in through sparkling dust motes and Irony lightly dragged her fingertips along the books. She could almost hear them whispering to each other. Usually even the oldest part of the Library had some ambient noise during the semester, but Irony could hear the soft squeak of the wooden floors and the faint groan of a bookshelf resettling under the weight of words.

Her fingers hovered over a book- something was wrong. She slipped the book from the shelf and looked at it- it was in the wrong place. Two aisles down and a left and there was an empty spot waiting for it. Irony smiled- there was something satisfying about returning books to their proper places.

Her arms now empty Irony kept wandering. There was no to-do list at the front desk waiting for her, so she could take her time. Another book seemed out of place somehow. She picked it off the shelf and found that a careless student had left a sheaf of notes folded into the book, straining its binding. She made a soft "tch" under her breath, removing the papers and sticking them in her pocket. She smoothed the book's cover, replacing it on the shelf and could almost hear a small sigh of relief.

Now she could hear them more clearly. A few books jumbled on a shelf were neatly rearranged into their proper order. Pages carelessly folded were smoothed and straightened. Penciled notes in margins were carefully erased. It was so different from the public library. Irony could feel herself being watched, but it wasn't the cold, calculation of hungry eyes out on the campus, but rather a genial awareness. She belonged here, and the books knew it.

"There you are- you usually don't wander so far into the deep stacks."

Irony blinked a few times, slowly waking up as from a daydream. "I was just..." her voice trailed off, a look first of surprise, then worry crossing her face as she thought back over what she'd been doing. A frantic glance at her watch showed that it had been three hours already.

Tavis spoke soothingly, understanding immediately. "It's alright. It's how Leeds does it, you know. It's why he's in charge of book conservation. He'll be thrilled to hear that there is someone to help him." He smiled encouragingly, but Irony was still getting her wits back together. "Do you- need to sit down for a minute? Or have a drink of water?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine, now, Tavis." She almost stumbled out a "Thank you" and cringed. How many students made that mistake in the first few days after a long holiday? No wonder the Gentry were swarming.

He looked relieved. "Well, if you're alright now there's something I'd like to show you, if you don't mind more walking?"

Irony nodded. Now that she wasn't alone she couldn't hear the whispers any more, but she was sure that if she tried, if she listened carefully, they'd speak to her again. It was somehow both frightening and reassuring.

They wandered for a while, Tavis making small talk that Irony only half-heard. They descended a spiral staircase she'd never seen before, and the walls around them changed from wood to painted panels to brick and back again. FInally, Tavis stopped in front of a glass-topped table.

"Here. I didn't have a gift for you," he played absent-mindedly with the string bracelet around his wrist, "But I remembered this and thought you'd be interested."

She glanced at him for permission and he nodded encouragingly. Leaning over, Irony gently blew away the dust, examining the document within.

"Is this, is this- a First Folio?" She breathed in, but Tavis shook his head. He started to respond, but she had finally seen the name of the play. "Cardenio." She breathed it out softly, awe written across her features. 

"You can read it, if you like."

But something was wrong. Irony turned and looked at him in shock. "Read it? Touch it? It's- do you know what this is? How- how is it even here?" She looked around wildly, "Where are we anyway? This- this should be in a museum! Not, not rotting in a basement. Why..."

Tavis reached out but was afraid to touch her. Irony was hyperventilating. "Read it? I can't! I don't- do you even know what that would mean? I- I can't..." She sank down on her heels, hands covering her face and rocking slightly.

Tavis sat on the floor, in reach but uncertain what to do. Slowly Irony calmed and finally gave a deep sigh still muffled by her hands. "It is a wonderful gift, Tavis, but I can't accept it."

He looked miserable. "Is there something wrong?"

Irony sighed again, her hands finally falling from her face. "We're not in the Library, are we?"

"No," he shifted a little uncomfortably. "It's one of the places between Libraries. All sorts of things get Lost in here."

Irony nodded slightly, his answer confirming what she had already guessed for herself. "And we can't move it or bring it out?"

"No! There's Rules about that sort of thing. I shouldn't have even showed it to you, but I thought it would make you happy..."

Irony made a soothing gesture. "It's the most amazing gift anyone has ever offered me," Tavis beamed. "But I can't read it. Just knowing that it's real and exists somewhere, even if I never see it again- that's an amazing gift, Tavis."

He was still confused. "Why can't you read it?"

She looked at him a long moment. "Because I would remember it. Word-for-word. Forever. And I could never tell anyone else. Even if I did they would never believe me. But it's so tempting- I don't think I could keep it to myself."

"You'll forget, you know. When you leave. They all do."

Irony shook her head, leaving that alone for now. "But not if I _read_ it. I can't forget anything I've ever read. I can cite page number and version of every book I've ever read. Every article, every cereal box. Do you want to know the answers to the crossword puzzle on the back of the Cheerios box in August 1987? Because I can tell you."

Tavis blinked a moment, working it through. "So, you'd remember the play, but not where you read it, or how you saw it."

She nodded- he was finally understanding. Standing up, Irony brushed dust off her pants. He quickly stood up and looked at her awkwardly. "Your gift is generous and considerate," she said formally. It was as close to "thank you" as she could get.

"As was yours," he replied. They started walking back the way they came. "Irony, if you ever change your mind... don't go looking for it on your own. Let me know and I'll bring you. OKay?"

She nodded and gave him a weak smile. "Agreed."


End file.
